It's almost been at a year......

It's almost been a year.

Last year I was getting ready to graduate
Finishing up last minute assigments and perparing for what I thought life would be
Fast forward now to today - Life is in every way differnt then i thought it would be. It has been a crazy emotionally ride - but in a big way refreshing. (excited, scared, confused , angry . content. hurt . really angry . really scared) As you can see life hasn't really plat-owed or has never been given the chance to do so.

It has been a year - a year that I have been suronded with people that love me for me
Even if I don't except it or understand it at times. (although i am trying ) It has been a year since i have been blown up at ( in person) pushed agenst a wall or thrown to a floor- it;s a nice feeling.

I have realized through this time away from what i have thought for years a 'normal' That one of my biggesest issues is i am in denal - or at leat I have been. I am slowly (with help) steping out of that. I didn't realize how much the truth hurts when you are confronted with the fact that the names and Ideas you have been called for years were not true. Believe me you get told something long enough you start to see it as true even when you know it is not. At the time the truth gets pushed so far back that when you have to dig it up again it rips you up inside.

One thing I have learned however and it continually gets hammered into me - is that even though it hurts now it will be better tomorrow - for this 'hurt is a good hurt' - It strengthens you and makes you whole.

I now in my heart that the road I am on is the right one - and I know there will be times I want to turn tail and run.

But in the end this time I am not alone and that excites me !

It's almost been at a year......