This is a strange post ... Strange in the sence that I'm really do not know where it will end up.. So I am sorry in advance ..
I haven't been able to thinking about a phone conversation I had with my Grandparents last night. They are 83 and I am the closest grandchild to them always have been and sure it will never change. Unlike past conversations I have had with them in the past, this one really stuck out. They said they really miss me.... this is huge .. here is why - i haven't been home full time for 6 years and for those six years the NEVER once said those words to me .. I know it seems small but it really hit me you know ..
Then I began to wonder what life would be like if I could relive the last 7 years ... and life didn't fall apart .. what would life be life if my brother did not die, and was here today. Would I have gone to school out of Provence - would I be in Alberta now ... Would my mom not be crazy - and still kind of there . because her life had not fallen apart ....
The truth is I have no idea - part of me want to think mom would be slightly more sain , but then again who reall knows... There is one big thing I wish could have happaned - I wish I could have introduced Dan to all my friends .. he always was worried about me - he never admited it but he always wanted me to be loved by people who truly cared for me ....
I wish I could brag about my little brother - reashering him that I am loved safe and sound ....
Everything in life happans for a reason - life is never perfect - even though there are days we wish the hell we are living through (or have lived through) wasn't there and would just go away ... but the hardships we indure build charactor in us- so we are able to move forword through the valley so we can start the climb again ...
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
5 comments:
hahah it just came out - wasn't planed
Well it was good.... accept some of the spelling, but who am I to talk....
lol ya i saw that when i read it again haha :)
This is deep and true. Well, know that you are continually loved and supported in whatever circumstance life brings your way. We can't change things that have happened, we can only change ourselves to face whatever future will come. Hopefully good, but either way worth it in the end... Only God knows, and it is our job to trust and follow in love and obedience. May He guide you.
THANKS carmen
Post a Comment