Today {Oct 02} is a tough day. Today is the 7th year since my brother passed away. My heart aches and every year it comes back and more then ever I realize that there was a time that I was not an only child. How quickly life can change. I wish that I did more with him , and above all I wish that I would have said I love you. I mean he knew I did but I wish I could have said it more. Life is short, none of use know when our time here is over. -- it is for this reason we should not take a single second we have for granted. Although I have learned this lesson the heard way - I still find myself getting 'comfortable' and missing out on what is around me.. This is something I struggle everyday to stop.
My heart is also torn as to what I am supposed to do with my life, this is my last 'year' at briercrest, in April I hope to graduate. Then the path gets dark and the light goes out and I find myself lost and unsure what to do and where to go. I have been thinking about going into web design as many of you know, however I am not sure what I could do with that. I am also being pulled more and more in the direction of something over seas... I think... I want so badly to go to England and work with the youth there, The question is however what would I do over there and how would I get there. These are big questions that are ripping at my heart! I know I know you are reading this and saying 'whoo slow down , finish one thing at a time' believe me that is what my mind is screaming at me.. But I can't. I can't stop thinking about it.
A friend from crossworld mission is back for 2 days, she has talked to me for years about opportunities in England and telling crazy stories of what God is doing over there This makes me want to go more ! Then reality sets in {in the form of my mother} and I start to think it will never happen and I get discouraged because once again I have no idea what I am supposed to do with this life God has giving me. There must be a reason for everything I have experienced .. there has to be....
... wow I don't know where these crazy deep-esk posts come from at 2 am - I really don't........
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7 comments:
It is simple... if you feel a calling to England then GO! Don't worry about the how and what, let God figure that out, even if that means not knowing until you get there... You will never go forward unless you you start heading in a direction. If it is the wrong direction God will guide you...
and once again you have given me the dose of truth i needed thanks !
I second "drake".
And trust me -- web design would be at LEAST another 2 years in school. The market is constantly evolving and in web design you really need to keep up with the trends.
your welcome... anything is possible!
drake i have an interesting idea that came out of this weekend come and find me....
Did you tell me this idea yet?
NO LOL . I should get on that :P
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