that was today -- tomorrow is a new day ....

I love simple things ... and it isn't very often that i get to be simple -- and do crazy things like singing Rudolph the red noise reindeer" in BP's just cuz we can it was awesome ! -- sadly it doesn't happen much ... I was life wasn't so complicated .. i wish i could be happy when i wake up and be ok with it not freaked by it -- i can't wait for that day .. there i days that i am the stupidest person ever ... just because I am messed up doesn't mean i want to stay that way... i really want to change -- i just suck at it .....

I am going to try to do better - I know i have to i know that negativity isn't cool - and i don't like it and i am not a fan of being stuck in it ... for those i may have upset i am sorry .. i really am ....

that was today -- tomorrow is a new day ....

theme???

I just found my theme for this past year ...

If you want to get out alive
oh, run for your life
If I stay it won't be long
Till I'm burning on the inside
If I go I can only hope
That I make it to the other side
If you want to get out alive
(If you want to get out alive)
oh, run for your life


yup yup that's it

.....

I hate the saying " we all in one way or another become our parents ..." -- man if that's true -- i am so up a creek without a paddle it's not even funny ! today is mothers day - it is an awesome day - celebrating moms and what they do. it is also the day i am reminded THAT I WILL NEVER BE ONE ! this family ends with me -- and thats it - no more messed up kids -- i will be the last !

life is to damn short - why most we fight and wine over the smallest things - and then at the end of the day when the time is past and you realize it is way to late -- kick ours selfs in the ass and live with that giult for the rest our our lives ???? -- if anything has not the lost of a son, cousin, nefew , grandson - mean anything to you people .... I mean REALLY ?!?

every year I am reminded that this family - and all it's F-up-ness ends with me .....at least on this side anyway...